Monday, August 1, 2011

A really bad day

As a lot of you already know, we were expecting our second child. I found out on June 27th that I was pregnant and we were so excited! The whole thing was planned and we were anxious about giving Talin a brother or sister. The first couple weeks of the pregnancy weren't the greatest. I was extremely tired and feeling icky. Food wasn't sounding good those first couple weeks. But by about week 8 I really started feeling like myself again and I was thinking that I had passed the rough phase of the pregnancy. Well, this last weekend I spent the night over at my parent's house since Brandon is working graveyard shift this week and I thought it would be nice for Talin and I to spend some time with my family. Saturday afternoon was when I first noticed the bleeding. That immediately rose some red flags. I jumped on the computer and started researching signs of miscarriage. I was relieved to see that spotting can be common in pregnancy, so I just tried to dismiss it and not worry about it. Well the bleeding continued through Sunday & I felt like something just wasn't right. After all, I never experienced any sort of bleeding when I was pregnant with Talin. On Monday morning I awoke to painful contractions around 3:30 am. I called Brandon, since he was working the night shift, and told him what I was feeling. I wish he had been there to comfort me. We both knew that the contractions meant something really bad. Later that morning I scheduled an appointment at the dr. and it was confirmed that there was no heartbeat. I will be having a d&c done tomorrow morning. Even as I'm typing this I'm experiencing more painful contractions. I feel like I'm in labor right now, but unfortunately this won't be resulting in a baby. At 9 weeks we have lost the baby. Through this whole experience I've just had to remind myself that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and having another baby at this moment in time wasn't part of that plan. I'm just so grateful for the beautiful boy I already have. He is my everything. I am so blessed to have him. I know that some day, when the time is right, we will be able to give him a sibling. If any of you reading this have suffered a miscarriage, I would love to hear how you coped with it. As much as I realize that this was meant to be, I just can't stop feeling sad. I'm sure with time things will get better. Time heals all wounds, right?

3 comments:

Jill said...

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. To a very miniscule degree I know your pain. I was told over and over again that I had miscarried Jack. It was devastating to me.

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-9

Sending lots of love and prayers your way!
hugs,
Jill

Kayli said...

Jen-
I'm so sorry! I have not had a miscarriage so I can only imagine how devastated I would feel. I am so sad for you and I wish I could come and give you a big hug! I love ya!
-Kayli

Sherry said...

Hey Jen.. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that you will have that baby in eternal life afterwards to raise as yours.

You really should purchase the book "Odds are you are going to be exalted" Jess says that it goes over all of this in there, and that it is really good.

Jon Schmidt "Love Story/Viva La Vida"